Hey, Melissa here with exciting news: I have my first kiss! It only took 9 days into the new year...a little longer than I expected, but like Mary mentioned, I was sick over New Years and beyond and also wanted to let Mary get the first one in so I don't hurt her feelings by kicking her ass this early. Although I was kind of on a mission to get Hawaii or Alaska or Kentucky or some other exotic state done first, alas, it had to be Minnesota. Now, instead of simply assaulting someone at the bar or on the street OR paying one of my friends to make out with me, I have a legitimate story that I hope you all will find interesting...
The lucky guy has had the privilege of being my friend for a few years now. His name is Jason and he has been with his partner Shane, for 12 years. Known affectionately around our group as "the gays", Jason & Shane are perhaps 2 of the funnest, craziest friends I have. Besides Mary, of course. Anyhoo, about a year ago Jason was completely bombed on this party bus deal we had going on for our friend Jim's birthday. He was so wasted, it was like he had multiple personalities and shit. Well lucky for me, we got to meet 'Jason the sexy burlesque dancer' on the bus. And yes, that is a nice way of saying 'Jason the filthy stripper with no coordination and can't see out of his eyes'. In the closest I've ever come to being sexually assaulted, Jason was ALL UP IN MY GRILL, writhing around the bus, clinging to the poles that normally help people NOT fall down but working the opposite that night. Cut to me, not being sober myself, loving this attention and deciding, after a recent breakup, that the best course of action would be to make out with my gay friend. We were 2 hot messes that night, let me tell you:
I bring up this story because last night, when he laid eyes on me, I felt a reenactment coming on strong, and then remembered this blog so of course I purposely led him on. Giving him full disclosure after he queried why our picture was being taken (thanks Erin!) while his tongue was down my throat, he squealed like a little girl and removed his license from his wallet proclaiming that I should take his picture by his license to prove he was from Minnesota. Um, yeah Jason that was actually the next agenda item, thanks for being ahead of the game dude. So here you go...photographic evidence of my #1:
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