Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy

As you may or may not know there is a bar at the waaay south end of the Strip called Stoney's. It's not just any bar, however, it is a country bar and therefor a place that I have successfully avoided. Mind you friends have tried to coerce me into going there before and I have almost caved, thankfully other things came up preventing me from having to endure a bunch of rednecks and bad music. My standing boycott came to an end when once again Amanda played on my weakness... "Missouri will be there." Thanks Mr. MO!

Now I have heard the rumors about this bar (mostly from my unimpressed roommate) but I never imagined a scene quite like this. The people watching deserves an A+ and nothing classes up a joint quite like a mechanical bull. The drinks are dirt cheap too but it's so damn far away that someone has to sober cab it or be you have to be willing to pay for a cab, details that negate the usefulness of the cheap drinks. The icing on the cake however has got to be the DJ announcing, as a Brittany Spears song begins, (equally as offensive as country music) "line dancers only on the dance floor." This is no joke people, the entire dance floor was packed with people doing a line dance to hip-hop. As I scoff the man in the American flag shirt (you can't make this shit up) says "c'mon, this one is super easy to learn, anyone can do it." Really? You think I am not dancing because it might be too challenging? I'm not line dancing because it 's f-ing hip-hop!

Pardon the rant but as far as I can tell line dancing was created so that people who don't really know how to dance, don't have the confidence in their ability to dance, and/or can't handle the pressure of asking someone to dance can participate in the dancing experience. (Possible other reasons include: the lyrics are easy to write and choreographers need jobs too) I will admit to taking a country western class in college and thoroughly enjoying it, I think choreographed dancing is way more fun and is much more challenging then the bump and grind shit at the club. And I respect the need to country bars, people love that shit. But when the hip-hop comes on give the line dancing a rest.

Back to the point of the blog... states. I had it in my head that I would meet at least one honest-to-god southerner from a useful state while there. I ran around the bar talking to every attractive man and much to my dismay they were all from NV or one of the easy states. I was about to throw in the towel when Amanda made it her business to make this trip to the far south worth my time. As you'll see she dropped the "attractive" part and just tried to find men from useful states. I'd like y'all to meet Mr. TN, Mr. CO and...